Welcome to the final part in a three part series about finding peace with C-Sections. After going through the process I detailed in my first two posts (first & second), I still felt like Cesarean Sections were necessary evils. I was mostly telling myself I would be accepting of a Cesarean, but I was doing everything possible to go into labor and have a vaginal delivery. Who wouldn’t, right?
The bad thing was that I was stressing myself out, and obsessing over having an unmedicated, all-natural birth. I kept assuring myself and others that “…if it was the Lord’s will for this baby to come via C-Section, I would accept His will,” but on the inside I was still a little terrified of having another C-Section, and was doing everything in my power to prevent it from happening. Mostly I did not want the long recovery that came with C-Sections. I wanted to be able to play with my toddler and take care of my newborn without needing to worry about recovering from a surgery. I wanted to have the ability to go to church three days after giving birth, like my incredible mother of 8.
At the time, the song of the Cesarean was one of pain, misery, and failure. I was grateful for them (at least we didn’t DIE, right?), but I did not see them as *birthing* at all. They were *surgeries*. I would not want my baby’s first moments to be associated with my abdomen being ripped apart. Plus, if I had a C-Section this time, I would have to have them all the time (most likely). So this was the make-it or break-it birth. My key to deciding whether I ever got a perfect birth.
Then I saw this face.
Do you see that peace? Can you see that serenity? Do you think that baby thinks he has been denied some privilege that he will never get to cherish? NO. He is emerging from his mothers womb, resting his little head on his lovely, strong, and wonderful mother, and he is entering the world at peace. At least, with as much peace as any other baby who comes into this world! To learn more about this amazing photo and woman (who I am pretty sure is at peace with c-sections, since she’s had four of them!) click right here!
I saw that photo and it pierced my heart. I felt deep down God confirm to me that Cesarean Sections were births. That He would accept me, and that He did think I was an acceptable mother. He told me that mortal bodies are imperfect, and that some women require more assistance than others during this miraculous time. I needed to humble myself, and accept the services that were so easily and readily available to me.
ALL Births Are Beautiful- C-Section or Otherwise
If you don’t get anything else from my blog, I want you to come away knowing that all births are beautiful. If you ended up getting the epidural, if you decided to use some analgesics, if you tore, if you got the wrong midwife, if it ended in a C-Section, or if any other number of things crept up during your pregnancy, labor, or delivery, just know that you did your best, your body did its best, and your baby tried its hardest. When one of those things don’t match up with something else, then you may need a little bit of assistance. That is okay. You are not a failure. You are allowed feel at peace with C-Sections.
Just think: some women do drugs, drink alcohol, have never exercised a day in their life, eat crap, and didn’t even want the baby. But they delivered through their vaginas. Some women are terrified of labor and birth. They cringe and tighten their muscles the entire time. Ladies scream and yell at the nurses, doctors, and their husbands. Yet, somehow- contrary to what HypnoBirthing would have you believe, they deliver through their freaking vaginas.
It’s not on you.
Relaxing, thinking positive thoughts, and taking excellent care of your body are not the only things affecting birth. A lot of it is also YOUR physiology, biology, and genes; your BABY’s physiology, biology, genes; and just sheer LUCK/fate/God’s will/what have you. Hypnobirthing, health, position, provider, etc are very important, and drastically affect the length, pleasantness, and your ability to cope with labor and delivery. However, if something is wrong, something is wrong and it’s not your fault. I cannot speak for mother’s who have lost babies during birth, but the same arguments apply.
Peace with C-Sections
If you did the very best you could to take care of yourself and prepare for birth then that’s it. You can’t change what your caregivers did. You can’t change what you did not know. And, you can’t go back in time and change your- nor your baby’s- anatomy. So relax. Allow yourself to release and let go. All you can do is educate yourself and arm yourself better for next time. But even then, if next time doesn’t work out, cut yourself some slack. Enjoy the little blessings you do have. Know that how you birthed does not affect your capacity as a mother. All births are beautiful, vaginal, surgical, or otherwise. Fear not.
Keep on rocking it, Mama.
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P.S. Stitches vs Staples, is there a difference? (I should know, I’ve had both!) Learn in the next post! Subscribe below to be notified as soon as new posts are up!
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